Preparing for your date

You have been feeling a desire for sex, touch, intimacy, discovering, connecting and the pure pleasure of casual fun for a while now. And then I, Melinde came on your path - maybe at the exact right time to inspire you to see if we could make an appointment. I understand this might be exciting for you, you may not go on dates very often, especially not on one you pay for, with someone who has more sexual experience and is on top of all young and attractive. Maybe the threshold seems very high. But is that actually the case, or did you put that threshold there yourself?

On this page you will find all the necessary information for a successful date!

Making an appointment is exciting. With these three steps it will be easy as pie!

You want to make a first appointment for a date, follow these steps and you will be fine!

1. Read the page about Pleasurements Date or Slow Lovemaking Date carefully. Here you will find more information on what the date could look like.
2.1 Think about how many hours you would like the date to last. Please also read this page on date - travel time balance.
2.2 Figure out if you want to/can meet up at home or in a hotel.
2.3 Look at the calendar for available dates and find out which one suits you best.
3. After you have made a clear plan with step 2, you can (if you haven’t already) contact me via e-mail or WhatsApp/Telegram. Please inlude the following points into your message:

🍓 Your name, age and the location where you would like the date to take place
🍓 What you would like best about the date
🍓 How many hours you would like the date to last, at what time and date you would like it to be
🍓 Optional: Which things you face in your sexual life and you would like some help with
🍓 Optional: Other important mental or physical features you have
🍓 Optional: Desires, needs, ideas you would like to seehappen during our date
🍓 Optional: A picture of your face if you don’t have a picture of yourself as a profile picture or when you send an e-mail.

When I receive your message, you usually get a response within 24 hours. I will talk to you about your desires and questions, tell you if I am the right person to help you with this. Then we will talk about if the location you suggest works for me (looking at distance and travel time). And when we have discussed everything, we found a date, time and location, I will send you a payment request with my bank details you can use to transfer the rest of the amount.

Dit gaat niet zo statisch als het hier geschreven is. Ik zal natuurlijk vanuit mijn eigen eindeloze enthousiasme reageren, maar ook zal ik het enigszins kort houden. Dit omdat ik zoveel mogelijk gezonde spanning en het uitgebreide kletsen wil bewaren voor de date zelf. 

Physical hygiene makes a date nicer, this is how you go about it:

We all sometimes get insecure about the (very much human) bodily odours we produce. Some of these can’t be stopped, like nervous sweat. But other odours kan cause unpleasant moments during our date. Like a bad breath or strange smelling genitals. Luckily we can look after ourselves in advance very well to prevent this as much as possible.

Bad breath

The easiest thing to do is to brush your teeth (perhaps also scrape your tongue and use mouthwash). Ofcourse you could forget to do this (right before the date). And that is understandable. If the situation occures for whichever reason on either you or me, it’s perfectly fine to suggest brushing our teeth together. If we do it both at the same time, we will be equal, and it doesn’t really matter who smells what. The most important thing is we can fix it.

And if you have to burp, that can happen, alright? Again, this is human. All bodies work differently and situations like these can affect gasses and smells.

Smelling genitals

For both the penis and the vulva it’s very important we clean these every day. But most people (as opposed to brushing our teeth), have not learned how to do this properly. That’s why smegma and other bodily excrement can build up between the labia or under the foreskin. Smegma is white, sticky stuff that can smell bad, irritate and infect the skin. If we don’t remove this every day, it will be very uncomfortable during the date and that will not be pleasant for anyone during sex.

Clip your nails

Even though I love it when someone slowly scratches my skin with their nails or press them into my skin nice and deep, my vulva has another opinion. It’s often very painful if nails scratch into this soft, tender and easily breakable skin. Especially on the inside it can cause bleeding and uncomfortable sensations. That’s why I would like to ask you to keep your nails short and mind sharp corners. Also, for playing footsie it can be nice to shorten your toenails.

Penis cleaning

1. Pull your foreskin back as far as you can, so you can clean the edge of the glans under it properly.  Underneath the edge of the glans the most smegma is built up. If you have a tight foreskin this can be tricky, please go see a physician for this. It’s very important this spot is kept clean and a foreskin that can come completely over the penis improves the sexual stimulation of your penis. Also if your circumsized, cleaning your penis is a daily task.

2. Clean yourself properly, just with your hands. You should not need to scrub it.

3. There is no need to use soap. Using soap can disturb the natural balance of the skin, and it can cause irritation on the skin and an abundance of bacteria.

Vulva cleaning

1. Flush both the outside and between the labia with water. If needed take off the head of the shower so the water can get everywhere. There is no need to flush the inside of the vagina.

2. Move your fingers along both side of the labia so no smegma remains behind. Like with the penis, using your hands is enough. Take your time to do this.

3. There is no need to use soap. The vulva is self cleaning, it will kill bacteria and other things that aren’t welcome there. If your vulva smells or stinks extremely, go see a physician.

For more questions and extra explanations you can go to "sense.info"

Flush anus

1.Preparation
Find a clean, calm environment and use an anal douche or buld (you can buy these at a sex shop or online). Fill it with lukewarm water (never too hot or too cold). Relax your body and breathe calmly to decrease tension.
2. Flush
Bring the spout carefully a few centimeters into your anus. If needed you can use some lube to get it in. Squeeze gently into the douche to get the water flowing in. Take the spout out carefully and give your body some time to let the water come out. Repeat this process 2-3 times until the water remains clear. Take breaks if needed.
3. Finishing
Flush the douche carefully after using it. Give your body at least 30 minutes of rest after flushing before you start anal sex. This will prevent discomfort and makes sure your experience is pleasurable. Hydrate yourself and use enough lube during the activity.

Shave, cut, trim? Or do nothing at all?

Generally, the way you trim your body hair (everywhere except on your scalp) is personal preference. But for our date there can be some things you can take into account, like:

🍓 Do you have a beard, or at least a good number of hairs on your face? Then it would be nice if those hairs don’t touch your lips. This is not hygienic and doesn’t feel good when kissing.

🍓 Pubes, what do we do with them? Shaving it all off can irritate a lot when having sex (from all the friction). It is least comfortable when giving oral sex, if the long pubes are constantly in the other person’s mouth, or when jerking off the hairs are being pulled up with every move. My personal preference is: Trimmed or shaved short. Personally, I have trimmed my mons pubis (the visible front side of the vulva) and shaved the labia.

🍓 The rest of the body, like back, chest and armpits? For these areas it doesn’t matter as much what you do or what your preferences are. Do know that having a lot of armpit hair will start smelling faster, so please was that area well and use a deodorant or anti-perspirant.

 Furthermore, I can recommend having a nice shower or bath beforehand (though I do enjoy having a bath with you). To put yourself in the right mood/vibe, putting on some perfume or lotion can be nice as well. Do keep in mind I lite to kiss and lick your neck, if you put perfume on there it tastes really weird for me. I am not a lover of unnatural scents, so it doesn’t matter to me that much.

During the date

You can take care of

What should you have at home/bring to the hotel for the ‘perfect’ (perfect is a spectrum, what makes something perfect for one person feels unnecessary for the other. Please feel what makes you enthuasiatic) date. Below you can find an easy checklist.

✔️ snacks – i.e. chocolate (I love dark chocolate, 70% and up) and fruit (strawberries, duh :P). Or if you prefer something savory, go for something like cherry tomatoes. Keep in mind that some snacks may taste a little different in our mouths. This can be fun, or inconvenient. If we eat garlic together, we might be able to laugh about it. Other than that you can make me very happy with icecream, just saying ;).

✔️ drinks – At your own home you will probably have everything you like to drink there already. In a hotel you can take something with you if you want. Fruit juices can be nice, the extra sugars might come in handy with the amount of physical activity :P. I like to drink tea from the brand Pukka or Yogi and tap water. Personally I don’t drink alcohol, if you would like to do that it’s totally up to you (in moderation, ofcourse).

✔️ ambiance creators – Candles, fairy lights, calming music, a nice smelling house and so on, and so on. We are going on a date, so that means our environment can look like we are as well. The more relaxed the ambiance, the more relaxed we will be and the nicer our sex will be.

✔️ beauty – With this I mean both your house as you. In the text above can read how (and please, do!) to physically clean yourself. Other than that, I appreciate it if your bed is cleanly made and that your house looks averagely humanly neat.

✔️ meals – . If we have a date that lasts 4 hours or more, around 12 or 18 o’clock, it would be nice if we could have a good meal together. What it will be is up to you. We could eat out, I really enjoy dining in quiet restaurants where we can have some privacy. I have no prominent diet wishes en like almost everything. But if I get to choose I really enjoy game meat, a good pasta and desserts. But I am open for to try a lot of things. Eating together is often also a very nice moment to connect, both at the start or at the end of our date.

I will take care of

✔️ condoms – I always bring condoms from My Size with me, in every size. That way we always have the right size condom. The correct size will make penetration feel better, and it won’t slip during sex or stay inside the vagina after ejaculation.

✔️ lubricant – Everything is better with lube, is what I was taught. I am not able to have a wet vagina the whole time, just like your penis can’t be hard the whole time either. Oh, and the lube comes with a (if I may say so) nice strawberry flavour!

✔️ beauty – I will make sure I have showered, washed up and am clean shaven, so I look presentable at our date. And I will wear some beautiful lingerie, intended for our sexy occasion.

✔️ Pleasurements Specials items - If you want to experience something like shibari, pegging, massage or anal play? I will make sure to bring the right tools!

Exciting, Melinde steps in and then? The date will go as follows

Ofcourse it will be a little bit different than when you meet someone via a dating app, for instance. But it doesn’t have to be less real because of it. Especially since it’s a planned occasion, we have both had time to look forward to it. We can just treat it like we would any other date. I can only explain practically what usually happens. There are always things that happen in a similar way. But no experience is equal, and because of the duration of the date it always ends up being a little different.

I will arrive at our appointed time (I am rarely late, unless I have public transport delays) and then I like to drink a cup of tea with you. That way I can ‘ground’ in your space and we can get to know eachother a little bit. Frome there things usually happen naturally, we will slowly feel eachother’s touch and get into cuddle mode. After that, we will probably really want to start kissing and discovering, and we will move from actively seated to a more sensual cuddle mode. This can be in the bedroom, or on the couch if we prefer. We laugh and enjoy what we’re doing with eachother and take it a step further every time. We undress and take our underwear off. We cuddle naked and feel even more with all our bodyparts.

Even though this date isn’t meant to chase an orgasm and I am way more focused on our overall pleasure, and orgasm is always welcome. It could happen that at a first date (especially if you don’t date often) you will experience more waves of hardness than a continuous hardness. This doesn’t have to be an issue at all. There is way more to be discovered and experienced in sexual play than just that orgasm. During one date it will be more of a long sexual journey and the other date can be more shorter moments. There is no better or worse in this case, it just is what it is. At some point we will notice we have had enough sexing and we will cuddle and talk more. Then things are full circle and I will slowly start getting ready to leave. I would love to have a shower before I go (alone or together), we can eat something and end our date with fulfillment and great pleasure. With one last kiss I will take my leave and I hope that we will see eachother another time (if it has been a pleasurable experience for us both).

 If you are really tense, because you don’t know what to say or ask: The most important thing to remember is that I am just another human being. In my core I am not that different from you and I am very willing to be your equal. Being a bit socially awkward is no problem at all, we can’t be good at everything. If you need some inspiration for asking questions so we get into a nice flow of conversation, click here. En if you stay become quiet, are too tense or experience something else, talking about it can help a great deal. I am not easily surprised and can navigate many situations quite well. I truely appreciate honesty and openness the most.


What can and should you expect?

Expectations are always tricky, if the expectations turn into obligations it usually takes the fun out of things. This doesn’t just apply to i.e. an orgasm, but also to many other things. It’s human and absolutely okay to have expectations, but I did not come there to tick the boxes on your to-do list. This could limit the freedom sexuality can give completely. If you really want to do, see or experience something specific, please let me know. I am open to see if we can fullfil your desire.

Desires can only really be fullfilled if we both know about them. Other than that, on both the Slow Lovemaking Date and the Pleasurements Date page contain all the things that can and may happen. And we can surely play with that. If your desire is not on the page, ask me abut the possibilities.

What shouldn’t I expect?

A lot of things are possible as long as we talk about them together. But I do have my general boundaries and things I just don’t really like. For instance:

🍓 Penetration without a condom - all other actions are perfectly fine without a condom, but the penetration itself will always be with a condom. This is because I don’t use anticonception and I will not risk conception. This has nothing to do with STD’s.

🍓Sperm - ironically I’m not a fan of sperm. It doesn’t mean you can’t ejaculate, but I would like to ask you not to do it in my mouth, face or around my head on purpose. All other body parts are completely fine.

🍓 Clothing requests - ofcourse it’s extra exciting to see someone in clothing that turns you on. But I have noticed I find it uncomfortable. I will always put on something cute in which I find myself sexy. And other than that, I would rather put the attention to our inner connection than to our clothing.

🍓 Long chat conversations - Last but not least, you will notice I am very to the point, especially when it involves sending chat messages. This because I get a lot of messages from people every day, and I don’t want to have a conversation via chat. I share a lot about my life on social media and would like to save our chatting for our date.

The date is finished…. Now what?

Hopefully we are both on cloud nine after multiple hourse of lovely togetherness. We have said your goodbyes (for now) after I gave you one last kiss. It can have been an experience that leaves a lasting impression. Maybe a lot of new and nice things have happened that you have gone quiet, or maybe very energetic. Whatever you feel, think and experience: Enjoy it. Keep daydreaming and let it simmer in your thoughts. It might be nice not to have plans for the rest of the day, to make sure you can let it settle comfortably. You might want to write some things down or reflect on them. If you have a person you trust that you can talk about it, that might also be nice, though I know this isn’t possible for everyone.

You can always send me a message afterwards, with your own reflection, thank you or feedback. This is more than welcome! We have shared something intimate and I honour that. Even though it’s not my intention to have a whole conversation through chat together.  

Tell me more, what else can I do to be well-prepared?

Here are some more extra tips for our nice moment of togetherness:

🍓Take your time - I mean this in the broadest sense. Take all the time you want for your preparation. And during our date everything will be nicer if we slow down, fast sex might look like fun from a distance, but will be less good in the moment itself between you and me. The slower we proceed, the deeper we can connect and the better we can enjoy it. After the date it’s also very nice to have some extra me-time.

🍓 Read through this whole page - Almost a no-brainer, but imagine you scrolled right through to this section, you can read a lot more tips on the rest of the page. Read through them, take your time.

🍓 Don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable - This goes for both you and me. We are there to entertain eachother and to be in eachothers company. Neither of us will benefit from doing something we don’t want to do. We both want the other to enjoy it. If you are insecure about what you’re doing feels good to me, please so ask. I will answer honestly, I promise.

🍓 Have an orgasm before I do - It almost sounds funny, but it works. Especially if you orgasm beforehand, the pressure is off, you can enjoy general pleasure more instead of working towards an orgasm. Please remember sex is my profession and I usually have more tricks up my sleeve than the average sex partner. This might mean you only have to fight having an orgasm or finish so quickly all you want to do is take a nap.

🍓 Talk about your feelings - For some this might be a challenge, know that that’s also okay. But also, that talking about emotions or feelings can deepen a sexual experience and make it more intimate. I am used to having people talk about their feelings and emotions and that they often find it tricky. For me nothing is too much in this case.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • It is a shame if you have to cancel a date, but ofcourse this can happen. Until 48 hours before the date you can cancel it without charge. You can do this by sending me a message. The down payment of €75,- is non refundable. This is to make sure you think twice before canceling our date. If you cancel shorter than 48 hours before our date the whole payment will be charged.

    This is because the chance I can plan another date last minute is very slim.

    You can reschedule once with retention of your down payment. If the appointment needs to be rescheduled another time, a new down payment needs to be made, or you can pay the full amount in advance.

  • When an appointment is set I will request a down payment. For this date that will be €75,-. For this I will send you a payment request from my Knab bank. The account is on my company name Melinde Witkamp. With the link to the payment request I will also send you my bank details to which you can transfer the rest of the amount that is due. This payment has to be done before the start of the date. Cash payment is not possible.

  • It’s illegal for me to arrange a location and receive you there. The other way around is allowed. Please keep in mind it’s not sensible to be very loud about it.

    You can choose for me to come to your home, or you could rent a location. For renting a location you can think about a hotel like Van der Valk or look at a room for a few hours through SecretRooms and GetADayRoom. If you want to offer yourself (and me) a little extra luxury you can also choose a private spa.

    It’s important there is a bed available, a toilet, shower and the space can be closed off.

  • As a rule of thumb I keep to not traveling longer than our date will last. Good to know is, my travels start from Breukelen. Look at this page for more explanation.

  • There is always a risk to get an STD. Did you know most STD’s are transferred using hands and not by penetration? This does not however, give you a free pass not to use a condom. I get tested for STD’s evey three months. Other than that I go to my doctor’s office if I have any symptoms.

    Does the situation occur that you find out you have an STD, you are obligated to inform me. I will not get mad at you. I don’t wish an STD on anyone and nobody asked for it. And I don’t want to unneccessarily transfer it to someone else. If it’s the other way around and I get an STD, I will surely let you know.

  • Generally I always come dressed as I do on social media. Other than maybe having an age difference, for the outside world this will not look out of the ordinary.

  • I meet people of every gender, race, form, shape or age. Secretly I have a preference for an older/more adult man. Having said that, age is but a number. During a date we will hardly notice. If you are between 21 and 75 years of age, physically fit enough to enjoy life, I only see chances and opportunitie!